Searched for love,
Love found me, and betrayed..
I found love again and it died..
I found love again, and we weren't compatible..
I found love again, and he wasn't eligible..
I found love again, and his priorities were different..
I found love again, and he broke it for family..
I found love again, and he did the 'right' thing..
I found love again, and he left for the society..
I found love again, and he didn't believe me..
I found love again, and he was with someone else..
I found love again, and there was generation gap..
I found love again, and he didn't listen to his heart, but others' tongue
I found love again, and he broke up in public for my bisexual orientation..
I found love again, and he was engaged..
I found love again, and he had aids..
I found love again, and he was married..
I found love again, and he was fuckin rich
I found love again, and i was not his type
I found love again, and i wasn't sexually satisfying for him
I found love again, and i wasnt enough caring
I found love again, and i cudn't express my love enough for him
I found love again, and he fell in love with someone else
I found love again, and he was just looking for casual
I found love again, and he made me his friend..
I found love again, and he wasn't ready..
I found love again, and he was poor
I found love again, and we were in opposite parts of the world
I found love again, and he trusted in destiny..
with my tear soaked heart dried,
still with remembrances of my first love
and all the loves that turned me..
Into what? ..
An emotional psycho-sexual 'slut/cripple' ??
...kinda makes me wonder,
Does love exist?
9 comments:
I think it does.... after everything happened to you..you are not denying love...still you are questioning... deep inside you know love exists... it will come to you one day. :)
Hi Ankit,
I don't remember how I came upon your blog. . . .
When I was in India, in 1969 and 1972, I never saw any sign of real gay life, so I'm thinking that perhaps it's really blossomed since then. I've only read a few of your posts but I'm very impressed; you have a poet's temperament. Are you familiar with Allen Ginsberg? I was never crazy about his poetry (except "Howl" and a few isolated poems), but I've read most or all of his published letters and interviews, and I think of him as a great visionary.
Anyway, I'm sure you will find love for real; not ephemeral love, but love of the deepest kind. It will find you when you least expect it. So be ready!
Here's a song you may like--the best version I could find on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUfdQ_NJizI.
This is my blog, if you feel like checking it out:
http://mydivinelife.wordpress.com/.
Namaste.
Peter
thnx prabeen and peter..
i do believe in love.. but my question lies in its existence, existence.. not being the mere existence, but whether it has a meaningful one or not..
and thanx a lot for believing that it will happen for me.. though i dont know what to reply to this :-)
Love does exist in any sort of relationships even in a gay ones , but ya as far i have seen we just twist the definitions according to our convenience.
I donno how i missed this blog all these years ....thanks Ankit for this incredible work :)
exquisitely written,marvelous piece of emotions in writing.
i just believe
"have patience and one day surely u will get one who will remain with you."
"kitne duur duur hain in dono ke raste.
mil jate hain jo bane ek duje ke waste"
and yes commtiment gays might never remain committed but true love always remain committed
true love exist only in the world of dreams and fairies but it doesn't mean that it ain't real....its as real as you want it to be......
failing to walk in first hundred attempts and giving up on that would have ended you becoming a cripple....so is the case of love.....somebody said to me once....never close your heart just open it slowly.....
it exists :) :) :) i m in lov wont tell u d name.. i dont knw iwill ever love me back or not but i do .. :) :)
hi Ankit,
i want to talk to you.Please send me your contact no or contact me via email,my email id is vivekvivek240@gmail.com
forever.ankitpaul@gmail.com
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